I think it’s weird how my...
...sense of embarrassment has changed over time, going from losing all shame (think of my second day at my host family’s house after having a bad case of diarrhea which everyone else knew about) to now when I get embarrassed about things. There’s really no reason for me to worry about what people think about me, since I will always be a silly foreigner to them no matter what, does it really make a difference if they think I’m a bit nuts or whatever? I’m sure I have done enough for them to snicker behind my back, but I think it’s a bit weird for me to feel self-conscious about things. Like for example, today, I was helping Myguy out on his new radio show (you can actually get Radio Mosteiros online and hear his show, “Tudo Mundo Papia English.” Go to www.nave.cv and on the left hand column, in the “Directório Comunidade” box, there should be a link to play Radio Mosteiros FM. Let’s see, his show is on 2pm till 3pm local time, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Fogo is GMT -1 and now that Daylights Savings Time has ended, I think we are five hours ahead of Central and four hours ahead of Eastern. So, you can pretty much start your workday with it).
Where was I? Oh yeah, I was helping Myguy with his radio show, and though we didn’t plan it, I ended up being his guest. Faraffa has been more involved with it than I have, but we have both been helping out, and trying to give ideas or whatnot. And I was always telling him he really needed to find an angle that would get more people to call in, which is the ultimate goal of the show, for people in Mosteiros to use their English with Myguy. So, I ended up being his guest, and he ended up asking me if I had a girlfriend here and we talked about it for a bit, and I said stuff about how I thought it was harder for me to find one because I appear Chinese, all in the hopes of provoking someone to call in and say something. But once we’re done talking, I realize that our entire conversation could have been construed like I was going on air, trying to find a girlfriend or something.
So, this suddenly made me feel very self-conscious, though I don’t think what me and Myguy said would be interpreted the same way in this culture as it would be in the U.S. But the fact that I would even get super embarrassed about this is kinda interesting to me, since I thought the only thing that really made me self-conscious anymore was walking by large groups of school children (no, I’m serious, them all staring at me whispering “Chines” makes me just want to disappear).
But I dunno, I have been in spiraling downward mood these recent weeks. Though my work situation has improved a bit by the fact that I am not sitting around the Internet Café all afternoon doing nothing, I have been plagued with Lady N now calling me lazy all of the time (one time I walked into the office, and she was like, “hello Mr. Lazy” in Kriolu). I guess I just have enough feelings of not doing a lot for the people in Cape Verde, and then having her pile on just doesn’t help.
And my neck, or more specifically, my right shoulder has been hurting these past few weeks, and that has not helped anything, since some days I wake up and have to keep my neck at an angle for there to be no pain. I have talked with the PCMO about it, and she said I should get back to her in a few weeks if the pain is still there. I can feel this weird knot or something, that is attached to my right shoulder blade. Whenever I rotate my shoulder, it’s there. So, I hope it goes away soon, so I can focus on various other annoying things in life.
So I have nothing happy to report right now. I finally finished Day 5 of 24 which just made me want to scream in anticipation of Day 6, but the trailer I saw for it made me a bit less enthused, since I was hoping that they would have showed a day of Jack in China, instead of whatever else they are planning. A guy in Mosteiros actually has the DVDs for Day 4, but he doesn’t have the last DVD, so I won’t be able to watch the last four hours, which makes me sad. But being able to relive the rest of the day has been good.
There has been this old lady who moved into the Red Cross house that had been sitting abandoned for a while. She moved in, and one day she started babbeling only-semi comprehensibly about how a relative of Toes owes her money, and if I could talk to him about it, it would be great. Of course, I would normally had said no, that it was “ka nada ku ami” (nothing to do with me) but she started crying, so, I didn’t want to be the mean foreigner who rejected her simple request. So I get nothing from Toes (who also said it was “ka nada ku ami”) and I told her so, and thought it would be the end of it. Then the other day, she excitedly waves me over to her house and shows me a phone number of a mobile phone and asks me to dial it. I did, really hoping she wasn’t expecting me to talk to anyone, but as soon as I dialed the number, she shooed me out of the house. So, I am not clear why she wanted me just for that.
Speaking of old women, I was walking into the campo the next zona over, and there was this old lady in front of me, who kept giving her middle finger to a younger man who was hissing “MpD” (the political party that lost the recent national election). I just thought it was great, since the woman was at least 80, but still flicking the dude off.
Where was I? Oh yeah, I was helping Myguy with his radio show, and though we didn’t plan it, I ended up being his guest. Faraffa has been more involved with it than I have, but we have both been helping out, and trying to give ideas or whatnot. And I was always telling him he really needed to find an angle that would get more people to call in, which is the ultimate goal of the show, for people in Mosteiros to use their English with Myguy. So, I ended up being his guest, and he ended up asking me if I had a girlfriend here and we talked about it for a bit, and I said stuff about how I thought it was harder for me to find one because I appear Chinese, all in the hopes of provoking someone to call in and say something. But once we’re done talking, I realize that our entire conversation could have been construed like I was going on air, trying to find a girlfriend or something.
So, this suddenly made me feel very self-conscious, though I don’t think what me and Myguy said would be interpreted the same way in this culture as it would be in the U.S. But the fact that I would even get super embarrassed about this is kinda interesting to me, since I thought the only thing that really made me self-conscious anymore was walking by large groups of school children (no, I’m serious, them all staring at me whispering “Chines” makes me just want to disappear).
But I dunno, I have been in spiraling downward mood these recent weeks. Though my work situation has improved a bit by the fact that I am not sitting around the Internet Café all afternoon doing nothing, I have been plagued with Lady N now calling me lazy all of the time (one time I walked into the office, and she was like, “hello Mr. Lazy” in Kriolu). I guess I just have enough feelings of not doing a lot for the people in Cape Verde, and then having her pile on just doesn’t help.
And my neck, or more specifically, my right shoulder has been hurting these past few weeks, and that has not helped anything, since some days I wake up and have to keep my neck at an angle for there to be no pain. I have talked with the PCMO about it, and she said I should get back to her in a few weeks if the pain is still there. I can feel this weird knot or something, that is attached to my right shoulder blade. Whenever I rotate my shoulder, it’s there. So, I hope it goes away soon, so I can focus on various other annoying things in life.
So I have nothing happy to report right now. I finally finished Day 5 of 24 which just made me want to scream in anticipation of Day 6, but the trailer I saw for it made me a bit less enthused, since I was hoping that they would have showed a day of Jack in China, instead of whatever else they are planning. A guy in Mosteiros actually has the DVDs for Day 4, but he doesn’t have the last DVD, so I won’t be able to watch the last four hours, which makes me sad. But being able to relive the rest of the day has been good.
There has been this old lady who moved into the Red Cross house that had been sitting abandoned for a while. She moved in, and one day she started babbeling only-semi comprehensibly about how a relative of Toes owes her money, and if I could talk to him about it, it would be great. Of course, I would normally had said no, that it was “ka nada ku ami” (nothing to do with me) but she started crying, so, I didn’t want to be the mean foreigner who rejected her simple request. So I get nothing from Toes (who also said it was “ka nada ku ami”) and I told her so, and thought it would be the end of it. Then the other day, she excitedly waves me over to her house and shows me a phone number of a mobile phone and asks me to dial it. I did, really hoping she wasn’t expecting me to talk to anyone, but as soon as I dialed the number, she shooed me out of the house. So, I am not clear why she wanted me just for that.
Speaking of old women, I was walking into the campo the next zona over, and there was this old lady in front of me, who kept giving her middle finger to a younger man who was hissing “MpD” (the political party that lost the recent national election). I just thought it was great, since the woman was at least 80, but still flicking the dude off.
posted by jende turtle at 1:48 PM
1 Comments:
Do you think most people don't call in because it costs per impulse? I can't imagine my neighbors in Tarrafal using their money to call a radio show. Just a thought.
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